Inner Child Model

The Road to Recovery Goes Through Your Childhood

Addictions are responsible for individuals engaging in harmful behaviors that result in erosion of self-worth, destruction of relationships, and in some cases, legal consequences. Addictions are growing at an alarming rate and along with this, many of the techniques and programs designed to treat addiction are ineffective and leave individuals for having tried to quit numerous times frustrated and hopeless. Individuals are locked in darkness, and relationships are destroyed. We know because we see it every day in our private practices.

We believe the solution to helping individuals escape the stranglehold of these addictive behaviors is the answer to a simple question – why? "Why does sex have a stronghold on my life?" The answer to that question can be found in our Inner Child.

The road to recovery from sex/porn addiction goes through your childhood. The Inner Child is running the show when it comes to an individual's addiction. When activated, the Inner Child will correlate current negative events with the past's painful events and emotions. He will seek to escape the pain by engaging in destructive addictive behaviors. This is done to provide his number one need – comfort.

When the Inner Child is activated, an individual struggling with addiction will compulsively turn to sexual behaviors because they are not aware of their Inner Child and the emotions that trouble him. By becoming familiar with the Child, his core emotional triggers, and the techniques necessary to comfort him, individuals can take an active role in successfully managing their sexual addiction.

This treatment is also highly beneficial for the spouses/partners of the addicted individuals in providing them with valuable insight into why their partners betrayed them. This, in turn, helps to reduce the spouse/partner's feelings of inadequacy and provides empathy which is needed to help restore relationships.

I recently captured all this information in my latest book entitled "Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction." This book has brought hope to many individuals who have been frustrated in their journey to control the disorder, as well as for their spouses/partners who want answers to the question, "why did you do this to me?"  

Benefits of the Inner Child Recovery Process for Sexual Addiction

The Inner Child is the storage unit for past emotional distresses. When negative circumstances arise in individuals' lives, the Inner Child searches the storage unit to locate past negative, emotional circumstances he believes are similar to the current troubling situation. This correlation the Inner Child makes leaves him feeling frightened. His answer to dealing with the emotional distress he is experiencing is to seek comfort, and he accomplishes that by driving individuals in the direction of their sexual addiction. Engaging in the addiction serves as a strong distraction for the Inner Child while providing him with a high level of stimulation.

The Inner Child Recovery Process empowers individuals with the ability to stay one step ahead of their addiction by learning to identify when the inner Child becomes activated and is experiencing emotional distress (individuals rise the yellow flags of caution.) Individuals are taught to engage in the emotional pain the Inner Child is experiencing and soothe and comfort him.  

More importantly, this process is about transformation and changing men's hearts to focus on the desires of God's heart. The Inner Child Recovery Process builds emotional and Spiritual maturity by helping individuals understand the importance of being in an authentic relationship with Jesus Christ.

Outlined below are the benefits offered through the Inner Child Model.

Answers the WHY question

As I mentioned earlier, I believe the why question is critical to the successful treatment of sexual addiction. The answer to why also removes negative labels such as perverted or sick and instead allows individuals to see themselves as God does – broken and in need of His grace.  

Promotes Self-Reflection

An amazing component of the Inner Child Model is the overall transformation individuals can achieve. And part of the transformation occurs with a focus on self-reflection. Individuals are taught to challenge themselves to reflect on the darkness in their hearts. They are asked to allow God to circumcise their hearts to embark on a journey of continuously seeking to move away from worldly values and instead adopt Spiritual values. It is a process that I refer to as the "New Guy."

Reduces Compulsive Behaviors

Often individuals caught in the web of addictive behaviors will say their problem is due to habit. The habit involved in sexual addiction is the compulsive nature of the disorder. To end compulsive decision-making and actions, it is necessary to understand what leads to the individual's compulsiveness in the first place. That is where developing insight into the "why" individuals do what they do becomes so essential. When individuals pause to think before simply reacting, they are providing themselves with an opportunity to make more rational and healthy decisions. They learn to discern to determine God's will for their lives. The Inner Child Model shows individuals how to apply "speed bumps" into the addictive cycle to help them slow down compulsive behaviors. One of the most important speed bumps is learning to engage your inner Child.

Teaches How to Process Painful Emotions

A common thread in all addictive behaviors is the inability of individuals to deal with their emotional pain in a healthy way. A vital component of the Inner Child Model is educating individuals on identifying their emotional pain points and leaning on God for the strength needed to face these trials in a healthy manner. By learning the skills necessary to confront their emotional pain with God's comfort, these individuals end the need to escape into harmful addictive behaviors.

Teaches Mindfulness

A critical part of the Inner Child Model is teaching individuals the art and benefit of being mindful. Becoming aware of how they are feeling mentally, emotionally, physically, and Spiritually is a must in helping to stay one step ahead of the addiction. When individuals are depleted mentally, emotionally, physically, or Spiritually, bad things can happen because the brain is screaming for simulation. Being mindful helps reduce the likelihood of becoming too drained. Mindfulness plays a large part in assisting individuals in staying alert to emotional triggers that could activate their inner Child. All of this allows them to stay one step ahead of their addiction. This is all part of daily self-reflection that is encouraged as part of the recovery process.

Promotes Healthy Curiosity

Growing up without anyone helping them understand and process negative events left these individuals seeking emotional and mental shelter by withdrawing. And with this protective behavior came a lack of curiosity about life. Being trapped inside their head most of the time, these individuals don't develop the skill set of curiosity, which leaves them with few passions and interests and the inability to be observant of their surroundings. As part of becoming the New Guy, they are challenged to be watchful of God working around them and where He is inviting them to join.

Moves Individuals to Become Outwardly Focused

Many individuals who struggle with a sex or porn addiction are inwardly focused and have difficulty getting out of their heads and being more than present when surrounded by others. They are running through life with their heads down, oblivious of the needs, wants, and desires of others. The Inner Child Model teaches the importance of moving beyond oneself and shows these individuals how to slow down, lift their heads, and notice the needs, wants, and desires of those around them. It teaches that striving to the "the less of the least of God's people" is an excellent and peaceful way to live life.

Improves Emotional IQ

Many individuals who deal with a sexual addiction also have a difficult time emotionally connecting with others. Therefore, an essential component of the Inner Child Model is to strengthen their emotional IQ. This includes helping individuals to identify emotions beyond anger, sadness, fear, or happiness. It also assists them in learning how to be vulnerable and express their feelings while demonstrating how to properly manage the emotions of others which currently cause them anxiety. Again, it is all part of becoming the "New Guy."

Empowers

The Inner Child Model is used to externalize individuals' addictions, allowing them to become empowered. This is accomplished through their ability to manage the Inner Child's destructive behaviors by helping to soothe his discomfort using rational insight and wise mind to resolve the Child's emotional conflict. Instead of the Inner Child running the show and hijacking individuals into addictive behaviors, they have the newfound capability to make healthy decisions. This process allows them to take an extremely active role in managing the core emotional triggers that leads to their acting out in destructive ways. They now run the show.  

Inner Child Model Course Available Online

The Inner Child Model is available as an online course for those who do not have an Inner Child Model specialist in their area or are seeking a low-cost therapy option. This 12-part online program is priced less than the cost of three therapy sessions. In the videos, Dr. Capparucci will provide you with the same insights and direction that he provides clients who visit his office. To learn more and enroll go to www.innerchild-sexaddiction.com. Your membership is lifetime, and you can access the videos as often as you need.